when I'm not with you everything just looks like crayon scribble
I think I'm cybering, it's been a while and its more in depth than it was in 8Th grade.
He was drunk at Denny's at 5 am saying how Dear John was the worst movie he has ever seen... eyes filled with tears.
By connection do you mean me drunkenly grinding my ass on his lap for an extended period of time? If so, then yes, we had a "connection"
You never realize how many sex toys you have until you have to strategically hide them while moving out of your dorm.
I tried to show my boob for free volcano tacos at taco bell last night. Not boobs. Just boob. The manager wasn't allowing it.
Just met another girl you fucked but this time in seattle. Your cock gets almost as much mileage as jet blue. Anaheim and seattle both say hi, figured you don't remember their names.
I guess I was trying to make a cheese sandwich, I had to change my sheets cuz I slept on it and the cheese melted all over me, Dave, and my bed
Rosemary is literally sitting on the ground holding on to the rug because she thinks she is going to fall if she lets go. We smoked way too much.
Just ran into her dad at the strip club. He bought me a dance. I think i found a winner.
NO TEQUILA
Why do I always think it's a good idea? Like a challenge? Shit maybe I should CHALLEGE myself to get laid for once instead
All im saying is that my face might fall off.
He didn't even get to the first chorus of Hotel California before he started convulsing on top of me.
i just sneezed the second i jizzed and it got in my eye. words can't describe how much i hate life right now.
I love you. Doing a double. Going to die. It will be painful. Let the world know i partied. God, did i party.
Randomize
