Just saw truck nuts on a handicap conversion van
I just found 22 drunken videos and 4 naked pictures on my phone. We'll start the bidding at $5
talking dirty on facebook chat is the new phone sex.
he literaly had industrial grade plastic underneth his blankets
Where'd you guys get the alcohol from?
Oh. Some homeless guy we picked up from I-70. He bought us $400 worth of alcohol in exchange for a shower.
...... wtf.
You promised me a handle of vodka if I took home her ugly friend. Thanks to law class I took for the 2nd time I know that's a unilateral contract asshole
My stomach is revolting cause i have put food in it and no alcohol.
I barely remember the girls that I got pregnant, you think I'm gunna remember the ones that played handball
SOMEONE WITH THE TWITTER HANDLE "METHLAB" FAVORITED THAT PICTURE
I got into the shower with my underwear on. I just sat down in the tub and tried to figure out when I lost all control of this hangover.
It's sad that I'm more proud of my Twitter account then my resume
THIS IS AN AMERICAN HORROR STORY I CAN'T FIND MY VIBRATOR ANYWHERE WHICH MEANS I LOST IT WHEN I MOVED WHICH MEANS MY POOR VIBRATOR IS OUT THERE IN THE WORLD ALL ALONE RIGHT NOW WHAT AM I GOING TO DO
Wait, there's no way I said I would suck his dick. I know drunk Katie.
No, you told him to suck YOUR dick.
See now that sounds like drunk Katie.
He weighed maybe 130, his dick had to be 30 of it. SO BIIIIG.
First aid class means get dry humped by moderately attractive college students during heimlich maneuver training.
Randomize
