Maybe if i eat something filling like whole wheat pasta it will make me less hungry for things like dick
you took a scissor and started screaming "I WANNA KNOW WHAT ITS LIKE TO BE BALD"
just weighed my balls on my pocket scale. that high.
No, i went to get it done but the guy couldnt find it. exhibit A of why i wanted a clit piercing in the first place.
I'm definitely going to class still drunk right now and the freshman dressed as Hugh Heffner last night is texting me. I can't handle this.
Hostess is going out of business we'll never survive the apocalypse
i gave up on the vacation being fun the night i ate all the marshamallows out of the lucky charms while everyone else was having sex in the condo
Do drug dealers work on Memorial Day?
I heard them banging and it sounded like he was trying to stuff a fucking coconut into her
I'm gonna buy my dress an hour before wedding. You know, just to make sure it's gonna really happen.
T'would be a shame to waste that open bar though. They shouldn't do that to us. We've been having to pretend we're happy for two people who got engaged a week after they met.
I think after 8 tries we can say Stoli Thursdays cause too much damage.
Wow dude wow that's sad man so sad. I dno't event wanna massturbate anymore due to teh sadness
If the guys trying to booty call text me could see me right now in some raggedy pajamas with toothpaste down the front of my shirt eating pepperoni out of the package they might change their minds
she said she was so hungover this morning in a way that sounded like she was apologizing for thinking she was attracted to me last night...
I was supposed to see Marcus tonight and he cancelled. Listen, I shaved my butt hole. Somebody is getting this WAP 😂😂😂😂
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