Theres puke in my trash can and spilled beer next to my bed... come get your girlfriend
the nicest thing hes ever said to me is give me head.......please
The guy in front of me in Sociology is definitely working on my farm in farmville. Never met him before. Do I thank him?
I just got a high school volleyball teams practice cancelled because I slept with the head coach through their practice time.
she wants to wait til the kids are asleep so im just shotgunning the parents beers in the pillow fort. I love fucking babysitters
After we drank 3, we built a raft out of the empties and installed the fourth submerged In the water to keep it cool. Keg boats are now a thing
Still butthurt there's a framed picture of me passed out on the toilet in my grandparents' living room
Just so you know my hand is still healing from where you drunkenly clawed me last Saturday
Came so hard my ears popped. This lovely piece of news and pissin in my driveway brought to you by rum
Thanks for fingering me to orgasm during Wu-Tang Clan
Nothing says Happy Holidays like sending a picture of your ass to the wrong manager.
I sense lesbianism
That's a weird power
Guy pissing in the corner in downtown Boston as his girlfriend is covering him up, yelling "relationship goals"
What's the rule for getting in fights with homeless men in suits?
Here's a rule: don't
he is sitting in the driveway by himself laughing at nothing, idk what to do
Randomize
