So you maybe wanna hang out again? I could use the $5
Whatever I can do to help stimulate the economy
i'd fuck the guy who invented dead baby jokes.
all i know is that each time we woke up we were at a different chinese restaurant. help.
It'll be like the burning bush except without moses and with pubes.
Is there any chance I can see you without pouring vodka on your head?
dude there's no way we're going back in there for your puke shoes
He's drinking 50/50 vodka/water out of a camelback. Disaster would be a compliment at this point.
Apparently it is frowned upon to ask the bouncer to stop pointing his flashlight in your face and step back so you can puke....and then do it
The best revenge is living well. Or pooping in his sunroof. Either or
Don't make emojis simulating eating me out
I'm wearing fairy wings and I broke my wizard staff. If this isn't the most happy but sad moment of my life , I don't know what is.
I used his number to look up his customer information at work. He's no longer saved as Magic Penis in my phone.
It was a mess. I sat on the kitchen floor with maple whiskey and cried into a bowl of poutine. I've never even been to canada
Alas my dad DD'd me. Legit cock blocked to the highest degree
ill drive you to the airport today if we can have sex first
i left yesterday
ill pick you up from the airport on sunday if we can have sex after
Randomize
