Sponge bath it is.
blowing a .13 at 10 AM isn't nearly as cool as I thought it would be.
Just convinced airport security that im sober. All i do is win.
he said no sex till date three. i said the party was one, mcdonalds two and that i would take him with me to buy cigs for date three.
Thru out the entire phone conversation I went from thinking: he's making a gay come-on, to he's trying to sell me drugs, before realizing he was offering me a job with an internet company. Things are gonna be awkward in class this week.
She threw up in the hot tub how's your night
He was ugly. Like horse ugly. But he was built for power, not for speed.
She bellyflopped onto the poolside bar, broke one wine bottle, and stole another...the resort staff just frowned and cleaned up her mess.
The cab driver was nice enough to let you finish your beer in the car, but you crossed the line when you started to pee in the empty bottle
Come get me...we were walking home and she kept yelling "people need to get run over more!" then she just sat down in the middle of the street saying "it just feels right."
We have bigger issues at hand... Does anybody know someone in the kalamazoo area that is missing a pair of stilts ?
WHO ARE THESE GUYS WHY AN ORGRY ON A MONDAY LMAO
You had sex with a guy who has a purple beard last night. No Molly for a while, ok?
this is the fourth time i've taken my clothes off for money this year. is that normal for the average college sophomore?
Like how do you live your life and have never made a grilled cheese? The audacity of some people
Randomize
