you still trying to smash that chick?
it's a losing battle and she kinda sucks. been busy with school so not getting midweek drunk - she's nearly unbearable sober
just saw a prosititute with a baby stroller...question is...if the baby wakes up is the blow job free?
I was so high that i was talking shit about a girl I was with via text, and I handed the phone to her so she could type the shit I was trying to say.
I didn't even have time to sit down and the nurse was like: ''You've been having unprotected sex.'' HOW DOES SHE KNOW?!?
Well, I made it thru a doorway, so I think things are going good.
And THIS is why we get drunk. No good story, documentation, or event happens by eating a salad. Alcohol consumption leads to good things
I think I'm going to contact pbr and see if they'll sponsor our dreams
I apologize for being mean. I love the blender and your vagina.
with great strapon comes great responsibility.
I want to sit on top of her nipple mountains and reenact the Ricola commercial.
I feel like that xmas present negates everything we were taught as little girls. Putting out DOES pay. God bless us everyone
I woke up saran wrapped to a chair....
This is why I should’ve just stuck with blow jobs. I’m good at blow jobs. Blow jobs never fail me.
Sooo...you're driving 6 hours for free booze?
Don't judge me.
Apparently I told the mayor I want to be a trophy wife
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