I just broke up with my girlfriend lets go find strippers that need rent money.
It was like a fairy tale, until he tried to put it in my ass...
You picked me up and threw me on a barstool and shoved shots in front of me.
Thats like the definition of a good friend
She compares her life to Teen Mom. She's 28.
I've only been home four days and my parents' cleaning lady already wrote down the number to AA and told me she's praying for me.
The best part about passing out on the floor was the fact that when I pissed myself, I didn't piss the bed again.
His grandpa picked him up. Brought him to the house. And made him clean the puke off the driveway with a broom and a bucket of water.
Prepare for massive TMI but anyway long story short I have a Swiss flag band-aid across my balls.
What a patriot you are. How'd it happen?
I'm high, watching "Scream" and eating a grilled cheese sandwich off my boobs. I'm not going anywhere
Come on, clusterfuck. Put on a pushup bra and get your fine ass to the bar, or you will be a sad single stoner forever
some people waaaaait a lifetime for a hookuppp like this some people seeeearch forever for that one special handjobbb
On another note, I almost lost one side of my fake butt. Dancing the wobble with the fake butt isn't recommend.
Hey how're your balls?
Don't ever let me helicopter again.
It baffles me why I still wear white underwear...
i feel like i got punched in the face....
you did....
I wasn’t trying, but work got a lot easier and more fun once he starred flirting with me and looking at my ass
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