I wish "capable of destroying an innocent girl's life" is something I could put on my resume
thanks for carrying me to bed.. and sorry for trying to roll down the hallway to escape.
Update: still drunk enough to get lost in Zellers and to think my reflection was my mother. Awesome day.
Agreed. And i highly doubt it could be awkward. You do remember our introduction was a direct result of you mentioning your affinity for my genitals, right?
I only made out with him because he cured my hiccups
My goal is to upperdeck the house I'm at, because it's some girl I don't know's birthday. Welcome to adulthood, bitch.
lol i'm looking through my photos and there's this giant section of just dudes wearing murses
I didn't know whether to laugh at the fact that a dog bit his balls or throw up cause my dad was telling me a story involving his balls.
Ryan friended me on LinkedIn and it took everything in my power not to endorse him for sexual dysfunction as a skill.
I found where he bartends and I guarantee you that in approximately nine months from this Friday, you will have a niece
Kinda hard to look your partner in the face the day after a rousing game of How Many Ways Can I Capture Your Penis.
I'd just like to inform you. That when I was at bvj the first day I was blackout drunk by noon. Get on past Chelsea's level like now. Do it for present Chelsea
No, I'm not a heathen. You two are the heathens, I'm the whore.
Which one have i been cheating ON and which one have i been cheating WITH if i met them the same night & have been dividing time equally?
So my dad just asked, "did you leave without pants a lil bit ago?"
Randomize