cannot fit in my clothes. too depressed to drink.
if you drink enough to puke, it's like a weight loss plan.
Our teacher totally just got outed in class by a speaker from some lesbian cooperative house
She was so happy she found her sunglasses, that she blew me. Im now randomly hiding things of hers in hopes she'll find them and I'll get a repeat performance.
The cops just drove by on their loudspeaker going DO NOT DRINK THE WATAHH
I love boston
i was thoroughly upset that he did not want to be my number 16, who passes that number up?
I got called a drunken housewife today in class. I'm proud, not many people can say they've achieved their life goals like I have by the time they turn 20
It's official, I need to start putting my vagina's needs before my own.
Woke up on a mattress on a roof this morning with a pair of briefs next to me. Oh fleet week.
She was horrified when I asked if they had any strap on chin dildos, I was at a sex shop for gods sake must I be judged everywhere
4 days in college, 3 frat parties. I haven't been this drunk since the unspeakable Jäger bomb incident in Sweden.
Is a swingers hotel appropriate for an anniversary?
You are cut off. Your giant penis and crazy awesome sex is ruining my body...
I just woke up on the floor with an empty handle in one hand and a piece of my ceiling in the other. #classy
We were high and the scary movies were scaring us too bad. Were all watching porn instead now
Have you had an orgasm with an n95 mask on yet? It was better than being choked.
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