My mouth tastes like defeat. Did he at least have money?
Packing for the trip... do they take Visa in South Dakota?
you two started sword fighting with 3 ft tall spruce trees you pulled out of planters
This is one of those times where I really wish my vagina could tell me what happened last night.
Her exstacy made her nickname everyone David. Nobody knows who the fuck she's talking to so we just say no to everything she says. She's crying.
You were force feeding yourself jello and you kept repeating, "I will not surrender"
I just try to date guys based on what I need like I am trying to find an electrician now
You gays are geniuses
Meet at Walmart straight from work to buy items for hurricane fun. Then blast some wine, make some sex, blast a bowl and cuddle each other till the sun comes up?
That's the most romantic New Orleans hurrication I've ever heard of. Can I have your babies?
You puked on yourself, then demanded to take shower. In which you kept saying "its raining"
Like how hard is it to come up to me with chocolate and wine and say "hey, you're beautiful. Wanna marathon Doctor Who in sweatpants?" Hell yes!
Is there a lightning bolt coming out of your boner right now?!
I need to stop challenging people to taking off clothes. I win too often
I think the moment she woke up butt naked on a mattress with her phone still on her face was the point she knew last night was fucked up
If people had ratings on Tinder I'd give you 5 out of 5 stars.
You smoked too much and passed out, didn't you?
You know me so well.
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