Looks like I will be paying for the roofie I slipped myself in 9 months.
I just wnated to let you know that I laminated my history notes so i can study in the shower.
she's like bobby knight all she does is scream and point
Holy shit. This 2 year old just told me her nipples were for her boyfriend. Hello future leaders of america
We made a bong out of a plastic football. I can honestly say we make a good team.
do you find it slutty that the last person I had sex with is also the person who sings my ringtone ?
Why are there hooting douchebags outside my building? Did a sport happen again?
Don't you judge us. Sockets make ideal bowls
They had to stop us from skinny dipping in the reflection pool of the Mormon temple.
we told the drug dealer that our car was dead and we needed a jump so he would bring the drugs to us...
I want my birthday to be like the hunger games where all the contenders for my vaj have to fight each other off to win the prize
Can I have the second place winner?
There is nothing worse than the batteries of your vibrator dying on valentines day
In order to save time, dignity and liver damage, wanna get naked?
There's a weed, money and oreo filled pinata promised for our party.
Kyle passed out in the tub after breaking a glass and shouting, "WHAT ASSHOLE GAVE ME A GLASS?" His girlfriend gave it to him...
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