Partly cloudy chance of praying to the porcelin gods
Red Bull/Vodka? You bet I'm showing everyone my penis tonight.
If someone cleans their bathroom and shaves their crotch for you you kinda have to admit the relationship to facebook
Were playing beruit winners pelt losers with eggs
I can't tell you what you just drank, that would ruin the point of Mystery Monday.
It's my vagina- remember its magical and yes I just did mini spirit fingers
He brought her home and fucked her in a gingerbread man costume in a cardboard rapunzel castle. He had a pretty good night.
Doap. Just bring some lube and a slingshot. Not sure y we need the slingshot.
How is it that I, the only one that didn't drink last night, was the only one puking out the car window?
This has to be the weirdest conversation I've ever had sober and in the middle of the day before.
You told me you were with a dog dressed as a taco, and it was the only one you trusted
we're spending all day in bed drinking spiked eggnog and fucking
He sent me a dick pic for every page I had to write for final papers (87) & brought me adderall. Tell me that isn't romance.
That awkward moment when you realize that last night you walked from in n out to petco, bought a mouse for $3, named it mogar, taught it how to skateboard on a techdeck, made it a home out of a trash can, fed it fruity pebbles and cheese, and then forgot where you left it.
Nah leave him alone, he is at the strip club with his mom.
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