I just did the classiest thing ever.
last time you said that you got chlamydia.
I think I ordered pizza when I got home. The email said the delivery time was noon today. So if that shit shows up I am the most amazing drunk on the planet.
I woke up pulling sunflower seeds out of my vagina. That kind of night.
Doubtful. That seems irresponsible. The 4th will kill you if you stopped drinking until then. Let's think logically.
I thought he wouldn't talk to me again. You know, what's that saying "why buy the cow when you can fuck it six hours after meeting"
As far as figuring life out your talking to a guy that's alternating text messages between his baby mama and a drunk bitch I met tailgating. My best advice is don't worry about shit out of your control and always and I really mean ALWAYS wear a condom.
Do you know what your brother wants for his birthday?
Yeah he said he wants a decent blowjob for a change.
.......
I'm just looking out for you.
I just made SCOTCHSICLES. no further info is necessary
Drunk life lesson just learned the hard way: do not try to play hump the great dane. He may take you up on it.
It's 1:26 and I have already found 5 fruit flies between 3 separate glasses of wine. This is supposed to be a summer problem. Fucking global warming.
The guy I blew last night was pierced in multiple places. I had to use extra caution to avoid my temporary filling.
Just looked for hours for the remote. Found it in my purse. I need to drink less.
My life is pants optional.
so how about you dont randomly call my mother during parties?
Can you recommend a quality dick? I haven’t had a good sexing in a while
Randomize
