I like it. Barfy the gin-flavoured Assman
Just figured out how to smoke weed with a toaster.
i wanted a birthday blowjob. not a birthday VD.
just took a pee in my own yard...decided i had to poo..only got a dingle berry....wiped it away with my finger..help me...my mom AND dad are home.
should we take a power nap before our cocaine gets here?
he told me he once ran a blackmarket liquor store out of his house. thats all it took for me to go home with him
He didn't seem too mad about the puke on the side of his car. You still have a chance.
Math equation of the day: 4 waffles + 1 bowl of weed = 1 terrific nap
You're not on my level until you shop at Petsmart for sex accessories.
Whoever invented the gimlet should be given a medal and then shot
i need to stop celebrating other people's birthdays like they are m own.. my body can't handle a birthday every week
I'm sitting in Starbucks, waiting for direction in my life, or it to be 8 p.m. Whatever comes first.
His penis could choke an elephant. A baby elephant... But an elephant non the less.
this is the first time i'm angry at someone with so much boobs. she like managed to break my glass and my phone with one glorious swing
After we had sex he gave me a thumbs up... fucking A&M Aggies, man
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