He has that thing where they hang SUPER low
Ewww!! Elephantitis
just found out my horoscope sign is scales. it's like i was destined to be a drug dealer
My hispanic family watching the world cup is getting too intense for me. a lit candle was just thrown at me because i walked by the tv.
Just because it's been in my vagina doesn't mean it's important to me
My girlfriend was pissed, so if I had to guess, i'd say I had a GREAT time last night
WHAT THE FUCK. SUCH A BAD IDEA. YOU'RE NO LONGER IN CHARGE OF NOSE SUBSTANCES.
Apparently I was the fucked up drunk guy greeting people at the hotel in the lobby last night.
I really gotta be careful. My email inbox is equal parts notifications from instructors and this dude's dick. If I get drunk and reply to the wrong thing I might get kicked out of grad school.
Is it cheating if its a threesome? This is more like a party game than infidelity.
Yesterday you said I was the best.
No. I said you DID your best. There's a huge difference.
Idk my boobs are big but i dont think theyre hide a flask in them big..
You're doing screenings before you set me up again- no child sized dicks allowed.
His exact words: "I don't have anything you can't treat with antibiotics."
I wrote myself a note last night telling me to tell you that you're the best person ever, and asking you not to tell me what I did, I think I'm trusting my drunk judgment on that one.
I am certain that you would be a mere freckle on the behemoth of slutty that has taken place at this complex.
Randomize