I dumped him because he's never seen star wars. I'm certain I did the right thing.
yours is so small it looks like an acorn!!
Yeah i'm definitely friends with drunk kyle, not sober kyle.
there's no such thing as luck on your birthday, only drunken invincibility, make it happen
hooking up with my manager sounds like an even better idea while i'm sober.
promise me that when we are 32, we will look nothing like Kim Zolciak. Promise me right this instant.
It got to the point that I had to make flashcards with their name on the front and dick pics on the back.
She got stuck in the front door. She never told me how or why.
DON'T LET IAN EAT HIS PEANUT BUTTER!!!
Just remembered that I poured a whole bottle of tylenol in there. It's chunky. It's deadly.
i know you're at the dentist, but this dick pic was too phenominal to wait and i deserve immediate tit compensation
Oh yeah I remember when I first saw Kyler's balls. If there's anything high school swim prepared me for, it's the amount of testicles I would see here
I was on the verge of being completely over him and then he went and made his Instagram not private... ITS LIKE HE KNEW
Sara can't come to the phone right now. She's currently having an in-depth conversation with a flower pot.
It's a testament to the kinds of spouses/parents we will be that we get so wasted but still show up to every class on time. We honor our commitments bitches!
I just googled "how to blow an uncircumcised guy" and did serious research. That's how badly I want to fuck him.
You misuse your internet privileges.
Randomize
