Crap im kindd 0f drunkk we just hooked up in a mcdonalds parking lot but i dont know why how we are here
omg this kid i'm babysitting is making a penis out of playdough ahhhh.
He just rolled me a 'baby penis' as opposed to his 'big boy' penis that he crafted...he just demanded that I roll him a penis.
It smells like Drakkar Noir and desperation out here.
That's why you should quit smoking.
I don't remember. I remember laying in the trunk of a car. For hours.
I'm going to have to start sleeping with my keys taped to my stomach.
You kept apologizing for not offering me some of your Whisky, which you referred to as "Jesus Nectar".
I just heard a 350 lb guy with a stutter describe getting blood in his eye as he was shanking his cellmate and, more generally, how to survive as a white guy in jail.\n\nYou should really consider going to some AA meetings
WHY IS FOOD SO DELICIOUS
BECAUSE SCIENCE
You cannot tell me you don't have a problem while crying pantsless on a stranger's sofa bed.
No, it's like a legit blood drive. It's not just her out in some parking lot with needles and ziplock bags
I'm sure as hell not getting hoodwinked into going back to rehab again
he rolled over in the morning and told me happy valentines day. i don't even know his first name.
I peed in front of kids, unfortunately
on one hand I spent like $120 last night..on the other that was the best sex of my life
I was running because his wife invited me to join them on their kinky Vegas weekend. Crossing state lines is too much commitment for me.
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