hi i'm bored and kind of... in a sort of dirty mood
pics
no i'm at a mixer dressed up as the teenage mutant ninja turtles
My hair reeks of homosexuality.
I'm almost 25, which means I can ride with girls that have permits
Can someone please explain to me how I got rugburn on my tits?
i woke up this morning cuddling with a 3 foot statue of Jesus. heaven here i come
I like one night stands...theyre like crushes for big kids
I just saw a girl walk by me wearing a "kiss me I'm pro choice" shirt. Is that a signal for easy access?
I use him for alcohol and he uses me for sex. This is the closest thing to love i could imagine
They turned the water off again. Brushed my teeth with whats left from those pitchers of mojitos. So hung over i dont even care.
I mean two cocks this time. Trust me, I'm not gonna pull the same stunts as last time in this situation
We were just sitting together and this guy walks up to us and says, "you ladies are drinking too slow", puts a 5 dollar bill on the table and just leaves the bar. Helloooo Taco Bell
You gave your one night stand my number. I told him you left for your sex change an hour ago.
Tempted to tell the Titos promoters at this bar that they are doing the lords work.
So what happened at girls night? My roomate found me passed out locked out on the front steps of the house and it was raining. Yes low moment
I was simply suggesting that you really should try coke bondage sex.
Randomize