I told him I'd give him a BJ if he admited Hanson was good.
dude...I wrote 15 jersey shore quotes on her body. she is going to do the walk of shame with snookie on her forehead.
Somehow I managed to make my Dunkin Donuts uniform look slutty. And I'm not even wearing hoops.
He had rug burn on his nose from my landing strip
You never go ass to mouth. That's quite possibly the most important rule Paramedic school has taught me.
She was so morning drunk she asked the lady at brueggers for a bandaid and my self respect back
woke up wearing a canadian flag with the starting forward of the hockey team. i feel oddly patriotic
WE SHOULD FUCK TWO GUYS THAT LIVE TOGETHER
THAT WOULD BE SO CONVENIENT WE COULD CARPOOL
He looked like he was trying to woo a lady version of himself by playing goblin music on his guitar.
I left your tip in your mailbox. Last night was amazing.
Either sorry for fondling you Saturday or thank you for letting me fondle you Saturday.
She was two things I dont understand: tall and Christian
AND ONCE AGAIN, MY VAGINA HAS STRUCK AGAIN. HER PLANS TO TAKE OVER MARYLAND ARE WELL ON THEIR WAY AS SHE CONTINUES TO ENGULF EVERY QUEER IN A 10 MILE RADIUS
I was mad at him...then I jerked off. Now I'm over it. Orgasms fix everything, I swear.
You casually put your finger in my ass and other people are weird..
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