i want to be waterboarded, just to see what all the fuss is about
oh and i feel obligated to inform you that there will be no sexin' because it's 'lady time' for me. so this ain't a booty call.
It took him longer to undo my bra than he lasted..
Just heard a guy discussing with someone else the amazing blow job you gave him. I’m in New York. Over 2 hours away from where you live. I have never been more proud.
We need to talk in the morning. The guy I was with just interpreted me taking off my earrings as code for "let me take off my pants."
...She then said get into the spirit and started making firecracker noises while having sex
Law school is ruining my masturbation schedule.
Please don't tell me I was shouting "I'm bleeding from my vagina" in front of my ex-boyfriend and his new girlfriend.
Is it 3pm? Or am I losing my mind because it's pickled in vodka and diet coke?
She was mad I came so fast. I was like, It's the Olympics! Fastest time wins! We can train you in the offseason.
I asked him if we could switch positions so I could watch the Olympics... I'd say date number two is a miss
Is banging someone in the national guard considered a state service or a national one?
If pulling your dick out counts as a hobby that is his.
he was really really nice, and I did coke off of his dong that night too
she keeps trying to brush her hair with leaves and insisting she's not high
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