I think that we as people have rights and that we should at the very least be warned before being subjected to Fergie
I chose taco bell over sex...
good choice.
God, you're like boner-b-gone
Easy Mac is falling out of my sweatshirt as I'm walking down the street.
I love being Chipotle's first beer sale of the morning.
It's official, no more fat chicks or even close to that, my balls are 2 dimentional
Was last night real? Did I lick your forehead while you laid in between my legs while we laid next to your boyfriend?
I didnt say frisky time, just alone time, to chat, or watch a show, or stare into one anothers eyes, or souls, or asses, whatever you straight people do
You fucked him. I baby bird fed him whiskey . I feel like we've bonded.
Asking the homeless man what buss shelter is the warmest was not a good idea
I couldn't think of the word "bath" so instead I told him I was marinating in soapy water
I just realized that every possible way I walk to campus I walk by the house of someone I slept with
Hypothetically, I throw a party and my ex-boyfriend and my current fuck buddy are in the same house... what should I do?
How many beds are in the house? Hypothetically...
I got all the way to work before I realized there were Trojans in my bra.
Next time we do shrooms i am finding an open field at sunrise and running through it and nobody is stopping me this time!
Randomize
