i think he might wanna be bffs again, but idk cause we're friends again but we haven't been bff since like a year. i don't know what to think...
wow. what a nail bitter. i need popcorn for this. brb
Bristol Palin says: Remember to use protection
no seriously he was fingering me like he was really really frantically looking for a song on his iPod.
His housemate was playing a sad violin solo for me on my way out. God I hate musicians.
I woke up pulling sunflower seeds out of my vagina. That kind of night.
Should I give the penis ring toss game to good will or garbage
ambylanc
what?
there was an amgbulance. iw ish i was in it.
After four attempts, his condom would not flush. I had to remove it with salad tongs.
still finding ketchup in my shoes. thanks to graduation that is probably the last time ill ever say that..
He asked me when I was coming to bed while simultaneously drilling a fart into the mattress. Don't fucking get married.
You challenged yourself to walk backwards all the way to the bar... And you did
Whenever I'm hungover I try to stay in public as much as possible, hoping to be a cautionary tale to children. It's a public service, really.
Do they mail horrible human being awards or do I have to pick it up or what's the protocol on that shit
Don't let me pee the bed... Its going to be one of those weekends
he told me he wanted me to go see his cat. apparently i was more interested in playing with his cat then having sex.
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