I'm think I may have given your ex's number to a convicted sex offender.
Win!
just took my birth control pill with a shamrock shake. happy st. patrick's day
high. he's playing 'oops i did it again' on the ukelele. is this real life?
I'm sitting at home, day drinking, while watching crossroads with brittany spears. I'm not the person you should be asking for advice right now.
I've got 2 dollars. How do I turn this into alcohol?
Is it worth it to drive to a zoo with a high possibility of sex at said zoo?
He was my first. He knew. He knew right there I was wrapped around his penis.
So... I woke up on a bench with a honey bun on my chest.
Yeah I don't remember how I got home last night
Judging from my pants, I embarrassed myself smh
I witness him finger a girl behind the dj decks yet I'm still going to meet up with him. Wtf is my life
I'm gonna write a book. Almost Awesome: all the times I ALMOST got laid.
EITHER I'M HIGH OR JUST REACHED A NEW LEVEL OF SINGLE FEMALE SADNESS BECAUSE THIS BROWNIE IS GIVING ME ORGASMS
sorry bout the carpet, but you DID call it "blackout punch" not "don't vom on my floor punch"
You literally brought me back to life and then fucked it out of me
yes that’s a photo of a horny gay donkey
Oh I know. I’ve known many horny gay donkeys in my time.
Randomize
