I wish we could go back in time and find our best farts ever
He was in me and said I can't believe this happened because of facebook. MOOD KILLER.
tuesday night obama will do an address about the oil spill at 8... it'll only be about 15 minutes... but i think thats plenty of time for a drinking game. key words "oil" "bp" and "responsibility"?
Fuck yes. Let's make bingo cards.
Like many of my risky ideas this has "burned genitals" written all over it
He fucked a visibly pregnant girl. It doesn't get weirder than that.
I know I'm her Sunday school teacher. I just feel I would be saving others from a lot of headaches by telling her someday she's going to be a stripper
I have got to stop letting people hang ornaments from my nipple ring.
Tis the season.
There is no sno cone on earth better than alone naked time. Side note: text when you all are headed home.
Talking to her is like watching "Bad Life Choices: The Movie"
He's like a father figure to me, except we have casual drunk sex every now and then
Ok she stopped using her fork and knife and is legit eating that steak using her hands.
I will take a ruler to your dick so help me god
Pretty sure we had a civil war reenactment in your kitchen at 4am.
That would explain the cannon.
It's very disconcerting to wake up and she is gone. I never know where she could be. It's like playing wheres Waldo but Waldo could potentially be drunk and wandering around in weird places that normal Waldo's don't go.
So my dad just asked, "did you leave without pants a lil bit ago?"
Randomize
