what ever happened to devon sawa?
fuck...who knows?
i'm really worried about him.
our cab driver is having phone sex.
I will one day have loud vengeance sex as my revenge against you. Until then I'm just going to sit in the living room playing John Mayer while you're trying to do it.
I shall celebrate this moment with a beer conveniently located in the sock drawer directly to the right of me.
Theres a baby at this concert double fisting pacifiers. shes gunna do great in college.
one of the service guys here said i licked ranch off your face lastnight
Just got motor boated by a horse in the street
I was grinding on people that were grinding. Nonconsensual.
He said i got a new job lets blow this money he bought 4 bottles at the club he is now crying after seeing the reciept
Just told my mom I need money for Molly. She was not happy
She literally took off her shirt and ran out of the bar. When she ran back she smashed into the glass door with her face....That's got to be the best way to celebrate your 30th.
This morning I woke up in the entrance of a retirement home. Memory fragments from last night: making it rain with the contents of my wallet over the bridge, getting hit by a car, and a lot of running.
you had me at "meet me in the bathroom"
Double-fisting ice cream and wine. Do not send help.
Granted, I did not plan to spend ANY hour of the last day of 2020 sober.
Randomize