Just try to make good decisions...remember our convo we had about morals the other day?
Turn them off?
Just walked by a group of guys calling out walks of shame with a mega phone from their front porch.
What I wanna know is who took a picture eiffel towering her?
I think we need to find a happy medium between fried food and dicks. This could end badly.
I'm genuinely dissapointed that we didn't make any fat chicks cry
She said she was jealous that i could wear headbands, then growled at the ground in shame..
I've got to stop giving the gift of vagina for every occasion. I'm exhausted.
Last time I went to flagstaff I threw up in my beard. I would very much like to recreate that moment.
Scratch one off the douchebag bucket list. Just saw a guy in a sesame street tshirt and a tap out hat. Didn't get the memo that big bird's trying to get into mma.
Also, even though this really sucks now, we will look back on this one day and laugh at the time we all got arrested on Thanksgiving
If I'm not drunk and wearing a penguin hat by the time we are done opening Christmas presents then coming home for Christmas was a complete failure
Also a shrinking boner emoji would be helpful
I woke up with my phone plugged into an extension cord in my garage. No clue how I got home. Videos of me flogging my roommate with my set of keys telling him he's the worst roommate ever. And my mom woke me up at 8am asking how to make a DVD...Goddamnit first Friday.
The bride is so wasted, she fell into her cake.I wanna be on her level
I don't know..He walked out of your room with a kraft single..and blood on his shirt...He really wanted cheese.
Randomize
