do you ever lay in the bath and watch the blood hit the water?
EWW. Don't discuss your period with me. You can go shave your back now.
I don't think so, think I've only met him once, the night I lost my teeth
Dude, dont worry about the lamb fetus in the fridge.
What?
Just dont open the beer drawer.
When my alarm went off, he rolled over and asked me: Bacon or dick? Yes, I will see him again.
How was me telling you it's my mom's birthday a go-ahead to bang my sister???
hot buttered vodka was not a success. on any level.
I'm drinking nothing but vodka and coffee for the next 48 hours. For science.
"DO YOU LIKE FLYING KITES" WORKED AS A PICKUP LINE. SUCK IT.
I'm not sure what exactly you were planning, but you kept yelling that we were going to need a lot of midgets and a lawyer.
Dude you better come get your girl, she's sitting here eating a tub of pasta salad muttering to herself about gypsies.
I wanna be like, dude, I peed your bed. Like you laid in my pee. And we're not dating. You can find another fuck buddy who I'm sure won't piss on you.
that is either the most profound and meaningful thing i've ever heard, or someone got high before noon again.
Is "You've never made me cum." an acceptable breakup line?
He is obviously into the really short sex we have.
Before making travel and hotel reservations to meet your "affair" for the first time, consult your menstrual calendar! $633 wasted!
Randomize
