C thinks vomiting on the batroom floor = reaon not to party. Lies. Party continues.
What about the words "You're my personal dildo" made him say "I love you"?
I got "discovered a new religion high" last night
just saw a dude in a v-neck sweater on a bike drinking starbucks. way to feed the stereotypes white dude.
COME GET ME FR THE HOSPIGAL'!!!!!
No, man, we stole the housekeeper's key and we're just going room to room raiding mini fridges. Hurry
Logan has the vodka and snickers. We're making a run for it. Room 302
Ive seen his manscaping faults. Given the choice I'd rather dry hump a cactus
So I found a skull ring inside me this morning. I'm assuming its yours, so I'll leave it in my mailbox for you - it looks expensive.
Ok let me just clear up this blowjob thing first so we can talk about your grandpa
like every night i go out someone always suggests nipple hugs so that's why I always end up topless
if it looks like there's being an exorcism being performed you know your doing something right.
I got a blow torch for Christmas. You are now permitted to be afraid.
To be fair I went my whole first week without showing up to work drunk!
Were you the one who yelled "FOR GLORYHOLE!" then punched a hole through my door?
My law teacher drew an elephant on the board in class. I was so high that I laughed for 5 minutes straight. Nobody else laughed and everyone stared. 130 people knew I was high.
Randomize
