so then she threw up in his asshole
yep..that'll do it.
i barely touched his dick and all of a sudden he yells, "BONER!"
Her boobs looked like leather oven mitts. No more cougar hunting for awhile.
Nothing like studying in the College of Communication to make you realize how smart you are.
Best idea ever: Giving hobos a beer and having a chugging contest to win another beer. Most fun I have had downtown in a while.
He's fat, has man boobs, and is uncircumsized. I feel like I won the last woman on earth prize.
I can't remember if the bartender cut you off after you broke your glass or after you wished the bar a happy winter solstice during your karaoke number.
Well. It was around 3 or 4 in the morning. He ran into the woods. Wearing moccasins. Holding an extension cord. He was trying to catch a deer. That about sums up the awesomeness of the night.
OH BABY IM HERE AND IN A BLANKET FORT
COME TO THE BLANKET FORT
Your argument isn't valid... just because I test the waters doesn't make me gay. Makes me versatile. And who doesn't love that!
He was super stoned and then he compared doing meth to having anal sex and told me to "ride that cowboy." The cowboy being my ex.
We're living together and you don't know if I've seen Titanic?!
I just peed on a rich man's lawn fuck yeah America
When I meet her I'm going to have to resist the urge of saying "hey! We're Eskimo sisters!"
Babe, I'm gunna be straight with you. When you act like a dick it makes me regret not fucking my manager last week.
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