Funny, my mom didn't get it when I said 'that's what she said' after she said 'it's so thick, it's impossible' in reference to my milkshake
great time with ya sorry i wasn't one of the three guys you wanted to stay with
the young, male pastor of my church has a jesus fish tramp-stamp. I made him show me.
he looks like a really good dad on facebook
you know you made some mistakes when your last two boyfriends are both obsessed with women's curling...
Check that he is NOT ok. He just heated up SoCo and used it as syrup on his pancakes.
i was way too optimistic last night... got back to my apartment and the porch light was still on, like i'd actually make it all the way home.
Then she yelled something like "YOU HAVE SO MANY FORKS!" before collapsing on the floor
I don't care if he's straight, his cock will be in my mouth by midnight. Like a closeted Cinderella.
I used his computer to order the pizza and the only thing he had in his search bar was 'text NASA'
Serious questions. Who is that girl? Why is she wearing a tiara? And why does she keep asking about penis piercings?
I woke up and found cookies in my purse. It's a 12/12/12 miracle.
Are you setting a date to bone me?
Are you accepting?
The last two times I had sex with him I forgot who it was half way through
My husband just came over to kiss me and said, "careful, I got a block of cream cheese in my pocket"
Randomize
