dude your alot more fun to hang out around now that your addicted to coke...but seriously you need to stop
Also do the "tongue the pee-hole" thing.
i swear to god even though i took those meds before coming here i did not hallucinate zulema silently throwing up into a breakfast burrito
I just banged two guys while dressed like an angel. I love this holiday.
Kate gave me a 3 day old cup of tequila last night and forced me to chug it. P.s. i drew u a picture
Times like this, when you talk openly about Tinkerbell being your spirit animal, are times when I'm allowed to question your sexuality.
One guy got his nose broke and was playing with it. Then another guy was playing beer pong off his horse.
We play beat the clock every morning. When the alarm goes off, she hits snooze and drops her panties. If I can't finish in time to beat the snooze, she jumps in the shower and I've gotta jerk off.
Dear god. Please. Please do NOT deprive yourself of dick for 90 days. Blood will spill. Wolverines will howl. I can't handle that kind of terror.
And if I could both stabilize myself *and* pick things up with my penis... Well, I wouldn't be on the fire dept...
My friend wants your phone number so you can teach her how to take a beer bong. She saw you doing them last night and got jealous.
Just tell her to open her throat. I don't want to talk to anyone who is jealous of someone who woke up this morning with a cat in their shirt as a result of that glorious beer bonging skill.
You were cuddling with an eight iron and I was eating a fajita completely ignoring your presence.
I'm to sober to make life ruining decisions and alcohol is to expensive at this bar for me to fear that level of drunk happening
Well Jon got a DUI sleeping in the back seat so I thought the trunk was safer. BUT WHO CARES WHY JUSE PLEASE COME LET ME OUT!
Put on your bikini and meet me at the pool \nit’s cock o’clock!
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