All he did was lie there and used his hands to keep pace. He was like the metronome of sex.
If a "boob" guy and an "ass" guy are discussing which you are better qualified for....just let them
There are beer cans & oyster shells along the side of the road. I belong here
We have been pregaming the shutdown of the government since Tuesday. Send help, and some more liquor.
this is random but who was banging in the shower in our condo?
She wanted to to do it on top of a horse, I can't compete with that
I dunno. Last time I went there I had got sexually propositioned by a Belgian prince.
It's not really that big. Girls just think it feels big. It's a cocktical illusion.
Tried to drunkenly hop a fence with my cast on to get away from the cops but ended up falling over a bench.. how do I explain those bruises to my parents?
Well I was thinking of taking him out for drinks then lecturing him about his drinking... kind of like an open minded intervention
If only I could bank my drunk hookups for a sober IOU.
DUDE FUCK CALL ME SHE HAS GRANDKIDS
I found a bar with Metallica and a fire eater. I'm home
So I slept with some guy last night and when I woke up in the am couldnt remember his name. I text him n asked "How do you spell your name?" to try n find out and all he replied was "With an A." WTF!?
How are you and the lady friend?
Well, she's a lunatic, and I love sex, so we're good.
Randomize