drug dealer added me on facebook, win ?
omg no way im finding him!
he has no pics of his face, and im always drunk so i cant remember if hes cute or not, but he told me im in his phone as "party girl" which is fitting i guess cause im dragging my hungover ass to buy preggo tests, and i had to get the cheap ones cause i blew all my cash on coke.
Have you ever noticed that nowhere is the same thing as now here, i get my best ideas when i smoke
and she's shaped like a lego person so that's not happening
Sometimes I wish there were a little bird hiding that would periodically go, "creep-per."
I say that when we get our grades back we're making a drinking game out of it.
We started snorting MDMA at 3 in the afternoon...it was never going to end well.
I'm hungover in the park, and some guy just handed me a business card for his church. I can feel Jesus' disapproval running through my fingertips
Dude you made a rodeo shot in beer pong won the game then got in the hot tub poured beer all over the side and screamed "hot tub time machine!"...
This hangover makes more sense now
you puked on the porch, i can see your jacket on the floor next to your underwear. i know your home, unchain the door, you're the worst roommate ever.
Ahahhahaha I'm not that stupid but then again I thought cabo was in Africa until yesterday
If he shows up in a "mount n dew" me shirt im throwing him to the lesbians
The bad news is tonight is also a blue moon, ergo, latin, I will have to get 'once in a blue moon' drunk which I feel is significantly more dangerous than IPO drunk
Wait... All I had to do was ask for a sandwich and you would have come over
The way I kissed her was actually pretty charming and then it devolved to car sex
It's confirmed. I have two dates on Saturday, and they are both named Mike.
Randomize
