It's what's on the inside that counts(972): They probably have big open vaginas so the inside is no good
I definitely ripped a mole off of her back in the process
you just broke rule number 1. If you can't lift her up don't date her
I can't really talk right now. I'm getting on a plane to Oregon to go give a guy a bj. I'll see you in three days.
This is one of those times where I really wish my vagina could tell me what happened last night.
Tidal wave of highness just hit. Find shelter and catnip. gloves. zebra striped car washes.
I woke up on karas dogs bed. Lets evaluate our lives.
Opened the browser on my phone to a web search for midget birth rates per capita. A good night.
He lit a candle for the mood and ended up lighting my hair on fire while we were hooking up...moodkiller
I dropped her off at home and her fiancé was shitty, it was 4:30 am. I told him I was the Uber driver
Update: He still has devil magic genitals.
Also, why does our bed smell like mayonnaise?
i was in class looking for a pencil and found a chicken strip in my back pack. i think i might have a problem.. sad thing is i ate it
Just learned a very valuable life lesson. Never motorboat a cat when they have claws.
Don't ask but i need a priest, a calzone, a litre of gravy, and exactly 7 oreos
And a bag of nachos
Randomize
