just because you are in college doesnt mean its okay to pregame easter mass.
Ok Ghana you win again. Tell you what...Double or nothing over women's tennis, basketball, hockey, war, baseball, golf, swimming, diving, oil spills, box office proceeds, internet porn sites, criminals incarcerated, women's downhill, bass fishing, NASCAR, or GDP?
I wish that one Sunday morning I could wake up feeling like I have my life together.
I just found cold cuts in the blender. You and beefeater can no longer have unsupervised parties.
He thinks that since we have been dating six months, that he can do the helicopter with his penis. Not okay.
I recommend just blowing him. It's always the way to go.
I'm an EMT, not a miracle worker. No, I can't fix your sprained dick.
I've been drunk in my life. But I've never been "crying in 5 Guys at 1 in the afternoon" drunk
Who is Katie and why do we have her birthday cake?
When you get home there will be live fish in the bathtub. I did not put live fish in the bathtub.
They sleep with other people as long as there is no oral. Logic and reason were thrown out the window a long time ago with them.
Someone put pennies in the toilet. This isn't a fucking wishing well
There is a pool of ranch salad dressing in my purse...I know thats always been something you've wanted to try..so don't even act like you didn't do this.
A guy who takes a plate of chicken tenders away from us is not to be trusted or slept with
Theres just something about today that says lets get drunk, dont you think?
Randomize
