She just said she finds Tyler Perry funny... this is not going to work.
I just saw on the news, this guy tried to smuggle coke in a bouquet of roses... and to think I used to hate valentines day.
he just told me i make him happier than drugs. that's some serious shit right there
Man, jail baloney is awful.
How do I discreetly dispose of sex toy packaging that is recyclable? What to do...what to do?
Milk that cash cow for all the shots she's worth
He got cut off by the bartender. So he kept buying people drinks of they would i get him a drink. Before you know it him and 8 people were outside the bat trying to get people. To by them drinks
Fuck. I have to get my shit together by lunch. Mission impossible.
Found my ex-boyfriend's money stash. Call the girls, we are getting fucked up tonight, my treat.
Some guy just hit on me and then said, well you look too young to ride the emotional roller coaster and guestured to his dick.
Why even have a ground level apt if you're not gonna let me climb out the window? I hate walk of shaming in front of toddlers...
So the bar crawl I'm on is a "90s bar crawl" and I made the joke about a few overweight girls that "lack of concern for your weight is so 90s" it did not end well
You fist bumped my dick last night saying good game. That you'll be back for the 2nd game...
It's not even 8pm on a Friday and I've already got a guy to tell me how big his penis is. Watched anything good on Netflix lately?
My mom is dancing slutty on the bar I need more drinks to be ok with this
Randomize
