The night began with "let go home early so we can study for my 9am final" and ended with "show me your boobs for a free pack of gum".My breasts are worth 14 sticks for a dollar.
you made me "pop lock and drop it" as a sobriety test last night..
talked to my RA about stamps and mailmen again. when do you think she'll realize that i only talk to her when i'm high?
You were hanging upside down on the subway with your feet in the stirrup handle bars. the children were amused.
all im saying is that if he was a normal person, he would have fucked me by now.
What can I say, I bounce back quick. Never thought the line "my turtle died" would get me so many free drinks last night
i have 90 minutes to kick this food poisoning or josh's first experience with buttsex will be his last
You better keep a close eye on your uterus tonight cause I am looking good.
we found him passed out on the baseball field with two 40oz and wearing a tophat.
Where did he get the tophat?
Well I woke up naked, with a santa hat on, and a bag of beef jerky next to me. So yeah, I would say it was a pretty successful trolley
She showed up ready for sex all night.. with waters and a meat and cheese tray
Apparently I have decided there are no repercussions for my actions
Three Decembers later, I'm looking at this fuckin Santa lingerie I bought and just realized my stocking never got stuffed....
So i woke up on a park bench... Using my shoe as a pillow, cuddling a empty handle of vodka... Yet I'm still in my living room. Someone please tell me why all my vodkas gone? I'll deal with the park bench situation at a later time.
Talk all the shit you want but I slept in a oversized monster truck tire last night.
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