the best thing about tacos is after you shit them all out you feel like to have room for your dignity to come back
Michelle found a bong in the garbage and sold it to my mom
Some milfs here doing some blow
Dad?
on toilet. in drag. drinking coffee vodka. I regret nothing.
I think she just stepped in a piece of mac and cheese, picked it off the bottom of her foot and ate it.
She rode an inflatable shark down the stairs. Viva shark week.
your vagina must have magic restorative powers I feel rested and powerful this morning.
I want this pizza in and around my mouth forever..
my roommate had drunk sex above me in our bunk bed and then built me a fort to apologize the next day
are you watching the world series?
I've made out with alex bregman... so yes
well I ran around the park drunk with a plastic baby and fell, all while screaming "I WILL PROTECT YOU CARLOS", yeah there's video
If i'm not ready, make sure i'm alive. Not passed out dead in the shower.
I'll still do breakfast to celebrate the life you've had.
A true gentleman never tells. But yes, I did indeed get laid last night
My drug dealer just told me goodnight...I still don't know his name. But I guess you can say we've moved to the next step.
Dont care about too tired for sex, thank you for leaving your laser pointer. I have now determined both my cats are stupid.
Randomize
