i think i just witnessed the elusive male walk of shame
I just opened up the mens room door to a dude pissing in the urinal and pointing at himself in the mirror
I would say a second date is not looking likely, I acciedentally bit his penis. it's still bleeding 43 minutes later.
normally i wouldnt have blown him but he was on dawsons creek.. i love dawsons creek.
He tipped the stripper with quarters. After that not even the waitress would talk to us. I had to move to another table to get a lapdance
I maybe just had sex outside in broad daylight. At a state park. Please be proud.
I HAVE stop dating guys for their prescriptions, you have no idea how awkward family dinner was. Thank god for his xanax.
Shoot me. I need tickles, a drink, sushi and a handy
Order is debatable
New wedding record, my shirt was off by 8pm!!!
Well he fell three stories from the balcony and still had the strength to fuck me for 2 hours.
There is a man playing a trumpet at this brunch and I hate life. Too hungover for this. Send help ASAP.
Guys, as my favorite vagina consultants I have to share something.
My professional advice is not to put lemons in your lady pocket.
When Pitbull's songs sum up your life... you know it's time for some serious life changes.
How do you clean human pee out of a carpet
Inconspicuously
Did you finish that presentation yet?
No but don’t worry about it. I do my best work in the middle of the night. I’m like a hamster.
Randomize
