; Think of how many worthless people would b non existant if there was no liquor so their parents never hooked up
I was just curling my hair topless and I just burned my nipple. Ouch.
"Not only do I bring a guy back to my hotel room....But I bring one back for my friend who's passed out drunk. Now that's what we call BESTfriends"
like in an apt above a crackhead. A LEGIT CRACKHEAD. he woke me up every morning this week asking me if I wanted to buy a mini fridge and some CDs. at 5 am. EVERY DAY.
Met some locals. They are taking me to a place where there is topless bullriding. I love this country.
the way i see it him paying 500 bucks for my fake abortion is karma's way of punishing him for cheating on his wife
You just got cockblocked by Conan O'Brien.
the caf people were giving us weird looks and she yelled ITS A LIFE STYLE
Why do I only have half my beard? My chin is so naked...
I think I'll bring the beer we scavenged from that other party. What goes around comes around, especially when it's Corona because that shit is not staying in my fridge
I think I'm going to contact pbr and see if they'll sponsor our dreams
Not sure if you're still doing the whole "sleeping with only one person" thing but if you're not we should sleep together when I get back in town tonight.
i wish i could tell my students that all of their lessons plans were brought to them by captain morgan and diet coke. it's like seasame street, only for high schoolers being taught by a student teacher.
hey, i didnt think i could be this stupid either but you dont see ME getting all judgemental about it
on a scale from 1 to "can't put a toothbrush in your mouth without gagging" how hungover are you?
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