My goal for the party is to get everyone in a diaper. Reasonable?
The way you explained my vagina was exactly the way I would of described my breakfast burrito.
my debutante medallion kept hitting his balls when i went down on him
She was sleeping without a shirt so I thought I wouldI sneaked a peek at her nipples..than I realized they were just warts...on her back.
He just turned on a sound machine. I need to get the fuck out of here.
and you tried to get a free burrito from Potbelly's
I just spewed blue gatorade in the shower. It looked like the ocean.
My patience ran out after you started clapping at the strippers everytime they took off a piece of clothing.
im really going to miss that car, so many blow jobs...
Almost told my boss I was an expert aat swallowing when he questioned my ability to take excedrin,xanax, and a vitamin all at once. It was a medicinal gang bang lubricated by arizona tea.
Did I actually say goodbye last night or did I just poison you with vodka and disappear?
the amount I squirted last night was insane. Im glad i ignored tlc's advice, i went chasing waterfalls and loved every god damn minute of it.
What's sexier than showing up smelling like fast food cigarettes with a jar of moonshine in your hand
We are back but we are listening to stairway to heaven in my car. Amy is air drums. Be back when it's over.
its 8 and I'm HUNGOVER!! how is that possible??
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