I just saw what sperm look like swimming around. I'm not happy with what you've put in my stomach.
We're official. Living with your boyfriend sounds so much better than fucking your roommate.
my mom used to put diet coke in my bottle. i can pretty much handle anything.
just credit carded her and her mom at the same time... that drunk. get on my level
She fell down the stairs and hit her head on the concrete. Then she stood up, flashed us and stumbled away. I forgot to get her number..
Were you really trying to feed me potato chips while I was sitting on the toilet?
I might have to break the "you stay out of my sister and ill stay out of yours" pact that i have with tim
Yes, but it's not new to me. It's like every time a new guy finds out I'm a squirter it's a novelty so they make me squirt and squirt and squirt until their bed is completely soaked. And then afterwards they complain that there isn't a dry bit to sleep on. No shit Sherlock.
The hot guy sitting next to me in the lib is reading a book called "Impersonal sex in public places." How wrong would it be to give him my number when I bounce?
Nothing is worse than post drunken playoff baseball loss sex
It's like we're in an emotionally distant three-way and there's not even sex to show for it.
WHO ARE THESE GUYS WHY AN ORGRY ON A MONDAY LMAO
We stole a Christmas tree from the student center and then decorated it with everything we stole from parties... All I have to say is Feliz Navidad!
No just a list of 20 of my favorite things
Where are penises on the list
Where am I on the list
Under penises
someone is getting fuckign RAWDOGGED on this campus as we speak and it makes me FURIOUS
Randomize
