Riding a fattie is like riding a scooter, its ok just not in public.
life is sad when you just turned 21 and youre doing late night rogaine runs...
I thought I would take a shower to wake me up but now I'm naked wet and stoned laying on my bed instead of just stoned laying on my bed
Fuck him for salsa, please. I heard its a good recipe.
i'm laying here naked in a pile of empty landshark bottles, is lauren still hiding under the toilet?
As I'm trying to leave her house she shushes me and puts my hand on her boob, then goes back to sleep. In like 30seconds. What the fuck.
Do you remember ripping my condom off last night while yelling "I DEMAND MY MEAT RAW" like a Viking?
i sent my dealer a picture of the money i would pay him. i also told him i would pay him in cheez-its if he would prefer that.
Every FB picture she has looks like it's from the POV of the guy she's blowing
HOCKEY BUTTS AND BASEBALL BUTTS HONESTLY DO SOMETHING TO ME
There was a clear and well defined point last night where I could've decided to go home but no now I've woken up with glitter all over my nuts and potentially an std or 2
Are we DOING anything for lunch...if sex is involved, let's just be straight forward and stop wasting the first half hour! We just need to get to the point
Fun FACT Saturday: Semen is great for my acid reflux
Its one of those days... someone might die
Would a picture of my dick help?
Psssh like you wouldn't lick BBQ sauce off my nipples.
Randomize