i feel so shallow. people in iran are using twitter to write hardcore nathan hale shit about dying for freedom. my last tweet was "i hate the taco shits"
Every now and then I'll talk to a creeper for an extended amount of time. Randy, for instance, funded our entire night of horrible decisions.
PS, you're not being slutty, you're "making dreams true."
i'm in workout clothes. this is progress.
Do you think it'd be inappropriate to have an I'm Not Keeping My Baby Party the day after her baby shower?
Biggest penis I've ever pity fucked
The bank teller laughed at me....I'm apparently that fucking hungover looking
All I wanted was my $85. Judgement free. But nooooo
We were naked in bed for hours and we didn't have sex. Either he's gay or he wants to respect me. Neither of which I approve of.
It was like die hard. Except with more penises.
This election needs to be over, im tired of girls asking who im going to vote for mid hookup
I let my daddy issue flag fly free last night.
Update: He still has devil magic genitals.
He's gonna turn my vagina into the Sahara desert
Did I tell you about the swingers? Because I think they're trying to trap me.
Greetings from Florida; the armpit of the US, where my 240something lb brother nearly got carried away by some aggressive woodland mosquitoes. I was only spared because they could probably sense I was currently semi-disassociating and would not feel the suffering their presence wrought.
Anyway, how was your day?
Randomize
