Ryan Ross and Jon Walker left panic at the disco today.
I predict a mass suicide of the 14 year old girl population...
And her vagina tasted EXACTLY like a slim jim
Proposition. Sex. No words, no talking about it later. I just want you tonight.
I'm at the cafe. It's 7am. There is a girl I don't know on my futon who tried to tickle me this morning when I got down from my loft. I also not wearing any underwear.
I now beleive the Trojan Ecstasy ad "feels like nothing's there". They forgot to add "...cause the condom broke."
i woke up to the sound of my dad getting blown. this is my life
So I am guessing last night was a success we are all accounted for and only 3 of us have hospital bracelets on
I'm riding shot gun after Shawn took a dump in a happy meal box because we were making record time.
the bad thing about being great at twerking is that I'm powerless to stop myself from doing it when I'm drunk and in public.
I feel like cursing someone's first born child right now. Like I wanna maleficent some bitch.
She came 4 times, called me a god, then made me breakfast. I don't think she is ever going to leave
I've spent my afternoon dipping strawberries in DayQuil if that's any indication of where I'm at in life.
he walked off and puked in the sand. then he made a sand castle over it so that "it wouldn't upset the kids"
He adjusted my bra straps while I blew him.
I'm sorry, but if I hear stories of you getting fingered in the ass, and selling weed, you are not coming to my party.
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