i'd date him for the sole reason that he thanks me after giving him head
I seriously think I have a tan line on my stomach from getting a boner while in the taning bed.
She wants out first dance to be to 98 degrees i do cherish you...remember how i said we didn't need open bar....
We were making out when she went into convulsions. At least now I know she's allergic to peanuts.
he wrote me a grocery list while i was passed out. every other item was gin. it went on for 4 pages.
I always have trouble explaining my life decisions to people over the age of 30.
Our Icelandic basketball player brought cocaine and rachael is screaming that he should do lines off her stomach. It's that kind of party
I woke up to a hotel manager knocking on my car ( window was down) and asking if I was ok
New rule: gentleman callers are required to bring me gifts of beer when coming over to court you. Tell the monster jam dudes so they know.
There's a girl in the bathroom crying about something having to do with cream cheese.
I just spent 20 mins in the shower washing n rewashing my body to get rid of stripper. I even loofa'd my face.
These girls just walked into this party as reverse cowgirls... Wearing cowboy clothes all backwards
I'm pretty sure I asked his brother if he was gay while drunkenly falling to the ground.
Dude. Got a sore throat. Don't know if it's because my body is rejecting Michigan or cause of the bad ass blow job I gave last night
i now know why i keep getting pictures of poop. apparently someone put my number in a girls bathroom saying i am a poop lover.
you text any of them back? this is probably the most women you'll ever have texting you in your life. don't squander a good thing
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