And my dad told him he was a great looking guy. and then added "no homo" after.
She described it as "a squirrel being hit by a hurricane"
Good luck! Who knows he might be a stallion in the bedroom! or it could be like having sex with a crayon.
we're at Rob's house and just invented the best drinking game ever....we are on Chatroulette and everytime we see a dick we all have to drink.
No. Please No. At first it was cool when you started bring an extra girl home for me but after 2 cycles of clap medicine I'm putting an end to it.
Call me when you get up. This hang-over is like dismantling a bomb: I need someone to talk me through it.
I could only remember yelling "rip it down" as he ninja jumped off the bed, kicked the wall, and superman punched the fire alarm off the ceiling.
I've always wondered why you never put the hotel room in your name...
The best part of that night wasn't even the sex, it was listening to her explain to her boyfriend why she was naked in her room while I hid in her closet.
I like you as a friend, but I'm in love with your dick.
Two months ago an unknown man was in my bed and now he is my boyfriend and he has 1.6 million in the bank and he buys me things because I only have $4.35 in my bank account
It could happen to you too!
Did he think I was flirting with him when I ordered a hot dog bc no
As soon as we had sex he stopped opening doors for me. That wasn't an exchange. Im still a god damn princess
If drinking had a "new high score" I think I hit it this weekend.
I force fed him french fries and then proceeded to tell him how sexy corgi’s are … it’s safe to say he’s not texting me for a second date.
If I hear that song one more time I will drive to hell and make John Lennon eat my ass.
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