About to do something stupid. You'll be my call. Bring bail money.
He left with a pair of dress shoes, some goggles, and a shot glass. I think we should follow him.
Yea...coming from the girl who didn't understand why m&ms and tequila wasn't a "suitable diet"
Just started taking liver support pills. Welcome to Senior year.
I'm home alone drinking wine, so high, scrubbing my house down... This is what my thirsty thursday has become
Why were my jeans in the freezer of the mini fridge, and how long have they been in there? On another note, I found my teacher's ID badge.
DON'T WEAR PANTS.
I REPEAT.
DO. NOT. WEAR. TROUSERS.
All of the hungover. I've changed not showered but can't quite make it to the booze.
WE'RE IN THE RED ZONE PLAY THRU THE PAIN
This wouldn't be the first time my boss has seen me topless
He stuck a cigarette in my butt last night. There is no coming back from that.
I've slapped too many boys and done too many naked laps for it only to be 10:30pm
I basically go to him for great dick and great memes.
My boss is explaining why he thinks time goes by faster and faster. Bc of the rockets. No lie.
Not sure she's stomping around my apartment muttering incoherently about wanting to speak to the colonel
there are LEGIT cum stains on my ceilling. ON THE CEILLING!! you tell me how the relationship was.
Randomize
