Just checked my missed calls... why did you call me 37 times from 2:14 to 3:58?
There is no way he is gay with that hair.
My roommate just did the walk of shame in last nights corset back to our room to find her dad there. THATS why i go to school out of state.
too bad being hungover isnt a job. just threw up from 9am to 5pm
Wydf in so deruk i just dowwned a packet if salt waitibg for food at del taco
There are at least 3.6 billion human cocks in this world. Get some. Get as many as humanly possible. Literally. Do it. 1-2-3 go!
He had me saved in his phone as "Dick Socket". Lets see if I ever fuck him in a bathroom again.
I can't even tell you how many rave sticks I tore apart with my teeth last night.
Just managed to stab myself in the ass with a fork. I feel that as my best friend, I'm obligated by friend code to inform you of that sort of thing.
Got a handy at the foam party. Took girl home. Banged her. Thanked her for foam handy. "what handy?"
Would you like to partake in getting high as fuck with your best friend and then proceeding to cry over the shit head guys we deal with?
I think I need to expose myself to your dog so he knows that I am also a male.
The only good thing about the sex was that he finally cracked the spot on my back that's been hurting.
I still dont see how i drunkenly impressed your mom
If you survived your 72 hour masturbation marathon put on some pants and come over. My mom dropped off a lasagna.
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