Everything went well, until I walked into his bedroom and there was a Ronald Reagan poster watching over his bed - creepy
i woke up to see him pissing on your n64. thats like killing a unicorn. punishable by death for sure.
Sometimes I stick my finger in my own ass and pretend it’s a vagina. I think it’s kinda weird. What do you think?
Imagine if sharks could walk on land...scary.
Hypothetical question: If I threw up in the dishwasher do I clean it up or just turn it on? :(
This will be amazing. Plus he's going to do a line of cocaine off of the other guy's ass.
There's a wake for a coworker on 420 during te time of 420... Hoping everyone will be too sad to notice how high I am.
Zach is always passed out on the floor somewhere.face down in a puddle of his own absurdity
They should just send me home - I'm literally doing nothing but watching porn and listening to pandora.
Then years and years after that I will send you a picture of my warped vagina from all the kids that I had.
My mom just drunk texted me complaining about her genitals smelling like Taco Bell. I really am her son
If a cop comes up to me I'm whipping out my cock, swinging it around and singing the national anthem
So I almost broadcasted the porn from my phone to the boardroom chrome cast
thats all i want out of life, to get high and watch weiner dog races
It was like a baby arm holding another baby arm holding an apple grove. Fuckin huge!
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