Do you have a straightener and are extra lubricated condoms not the norm?
thats the last time i clean cum out of my retainer.
im getting my college education on yahoo answers.
I just watched a girl use a tall boy Coors as a rolling pin to make christmas cookies
The professor just announced to the class that I talked to him in the bar on my birthday.
11am puke and rally. THIS is what I'm gonna miss about college.
Well that wasnt the exboyfriend i expected to hook up with today
Cleaning my room at 2am, in just one corner I found six beers, half a pint of whiskey, my flask, 2 shotgun bullets, my crown and shimmer lotion.
Have you seen him ? Seriously. No one is that straight.
The fact that he quoted freebird as his breakup speech was a little more classy than expected
Why is our fridge full of girl scout cookies and rum?
You told me to go grocery shopping.
well i don't know if 30 seconds is exactly a good time but at least he bought me breakfast
I'm still questioning who dropped me off last night. So successful wedding?
Girl you're stalking so hard you're gonna know both their social security numbers soon
he said he's going to burn things and pack his stuff. he may leave tomorrow supposedly but i doubt it
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