babies were throwing up all over the place
Measuring your booze intake in glasses is like measuring Rosie O'Donnell's weight in ounces.
I think his glow in the dark Star Wars sheets, at the time, really turned me on.
I'm Still in a robe trying to piece together 3-7am I'll be there in a few
It's like split custody, only he's not a kid and they have sex with him.
omg. i wish i could describe to you the number of things that were just in my vagina. i feel like i got gangbanged by construction workers.
I am as serious as getting herpes in Mexico...
What do herpes have to do with anything?
I mean looking back on it, it's unlucky but at least now we can say we were in jail from 2011 to 2012
That's thinking positively..
Indoor beer darts at Rafs just turned into a trust exercise of putting your hand on the wall and closing your eyes while the other throws.. Almost gave Cale a Tracheotomy
I think ur a lot drunker then u think u are. That girl has the body of a cartoon character and not in a good way.
They should make a traveling bouncer service to remove unwanted people from your house without getting the cops involved. That sums up my Friday.
Worst case scenario- he paid me for sex with meatloaf. There are worse thing, right? I mean at least is was good meatloaf.
I've had my dick out in public way too much for someone my age...
Kinda suprised you didn't immediately ask about the lesbian ghosts tho
What? No, wine isn't my weakness, I just love it.
Randomize
