After last night, I could never be a politician.
You say "arrested with two drunk girls" like it's a bad thing....
I'm pretty sure I'm almost gay. Like, I'd do it if I had no choice. Like, if i were in prison I'd try it.
my dad just said 'either you're lying about your plans tonight or you kids are really lame nowadays'. maybe we should nix the singles saturday slumber party and go to a bar.
You texted the wrong number but that's probably the best call you'll ever make.
It's been two weeks and I still have carpet burns on my knees. Well done.
How do you not remember seeing the kid from our chem lab table and repeatedly yelling "lab partners for life!" at him?
I know and I love you for your valets putting your thong on your seat
he cock-blocks himself, don't try to make excuses for him!
Guess who's the proud owner of her very own foxtail butt plug!!
My dick has a subreddit
I spent all the money my grandpa gave me for Christmas last night….solid start to 2015
My legacy here is being that tiny blonde girl that threw someone down and shouted "Fuck your face, I'm Dee Dee Ramone."
Dude, I wish I could live my entire life blacked out.
Are we planning this because I am online looking for places with a Mechanical bull
The dogs decided to play a new game called "Who Can Scream the Loudest?"
I won.
Randomize
