You do realize the lyrics aren't "hold me close TONY DANZA" right?
You can't be serious.
sorry I didn't call you. I had your number saved as "girl that offered bj but didn't follow thru".
Throwing up while listening to pandora radio. Don't tell me my life doesn't have theme music.
He pretended my clit ring was a door knocker.
I still have his teeth marks on the base of my penis. You didnt miss much
And then you proceeded to sneak behind thee bar and hold up an empty bottle of vodka and scream LOOK WHO THE BARTENDER IS NOW BITCH!
Do you know how hard it is to maintain a conversation with someone who just told you they put their cat in the fridge on purpose?
You were holding up a boot and yelling boot gang
You're lucky I'm tired or I'd take a pic of me mounting a reindeer yard decoration
mom had to come pick me up from the hotel. I crawled to her car. She told me the entire way home if I puked in it I was going to lick it up. Like high school all over again...
just yelled CURVEBALL at my nightie because it turned out to be a pair of shorts
Do you know how close I got to throwing him over the edge of the canyon?
Here's the thing. Kinda drunk. Eating leftover soup. In bed. Watching Disney channel.
Haha holy fuck. i dont remember much after pissing on your ex's flaming nude pics.
so i put my jacket on last night that you wore last weekend, and reach inside the pockets and find them full of goldfish...
the snack that smiles back:)
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