You know, as long as there were ice cream breaks, I would totally eat chips for a living.
you missed a midterm to shack? WOW. How desperate are you?
I was high enough to think chocolate sauce on bagel bites was a good idea
They're giving me a hotel, and this chick doesn't have a place to stay for the night... I swear this is how real life Porno starts.
I had forgotten what it was like to go to all four classes. It's exhausting.
i was taking a dump when this random girl ran in, puked all over my lap, then passed out on the floor
did you bang her?
seriously?
I found her sitting in the shower having an argument with the dolphins on the shower curtain.
My dad told me my only assignment from now til graduation is to not die. it's a legit concern for him.
She just landed. Popped over for a BJ and left. I'm a fan of layover layovers.
It took years to rebuild my brains forcefield against your charm and I feel like u seal team 6'd ur way in again and caught my common sense sleeping on post
You told me to remind you that the bruise on your ass is from when you danced on the table at Ziggy's, saw a cop and tried to 'fly away'.
Hyyypothetically, what would you do if you happened to see my boobs on the internet?
I'm all dressed in my outfit from last night, and I'm not even the sluttiest person in Walmart right now. God bless Miami.
I've got 3 hot dudes surrounding me. It's the Bermudick Triangle.
Well, he was practically tripping over his dick to get to me so I'd say my new dress was successful
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