one day I'm really going to regret not using the boners I got in planes and cars
New beer pong partner names "Bus Boys" ... We clear tables
No I am not eating basil off your cock
I researched the whole pregnancy breast feeding with piercings. I think you dont have to worry about the trifecta milk spraying thing.
Aaaaand I just watched him face plant in front of the taxi. This is why we don't invite him to margarita night.
I need a therapist, but moreover we are going to be really drunk.
Hey so when you left last night was i wearing shoes?
The cops walked in and cracked up bec he was passed out on the couch in a pink tutu.
I'm sooo hungover. I fell asleep on top of a car in a parking lot last night. New one to add to the list.
they asked me about my neuroscience major and I said 'the brain is the outer space of the body' and passed out. it appears my ivy league education is not going to waste
The cops came, and I made friends with him. He wants me to babysit his kids.
There's always a silver lining when massive voluptuous tits are involved
carb up bitch. we're drinking with football players.
I can't believe I'm going to buy bitcoin to pay for erection pills
You woke up at like 4 in the morning fell off your bunk bead, yelled at Nic for asking if you were ok, walked to the kitchen, pissed on the keg, and then looked at me and said "Still not worth it" then went back to bed.
Randomize
