Oh. He liked you.
Then you said "Are you asian?, I didn't know there was Asians in Colorado."
i was so drunk he made me beileve the song was called "thanksgiving sex."
Weed smoke burps in the boss's face. Job security.
he was holding his dick in one hand and my boob in the other and i looked down and thought, this is my life
I know I should be focused on nurturing their bright little minds but it's 10 a.m. and I need a cock in my mouth
Sitting on the curb by new england comics with a weeping drunk girl who's eating french fries saying she'll never be as successful as her sister the hand model. She's scaring the nerds.
As if right now I am a humanitarian. Full story to come in the morning. It involves sex.
Come get me...we were walking home and she kept yelling "people need to get run over more!" then she just sat down in the middle of the street saying "it just feels right."
I am too drunk to be out in this weather around all these animals.
Last time he went to Europe, every time he started drinking he would wake up in a different country with no memory. There is no way he can be tour leader.
I saw a kitty kat get finger blasted on the couch by a Bulls player
Also, I'm kinda hungover this morning and I need to wire money to my lawyer. So this is what adulthood feels like
Smoked a joint with mom, best Thanksgiving ever!
when I found u, u were using a t-shirt for pants
My professor just said irregardless, get me out of here
I guess he's ir-illiterate
Randomize
