Woke up to a denim duvet cover this morning... why r guys so tacky?
Why am I getting the stink eye from these people? They're acting like BYOB isn't kosher in a laundromat.
You know who really doesn't like surpise in-your-face air guitar solos? Strangers.
I guess on the plus side everyone really, really enjoyed my nipple clamps
everytime someone would look at you, you started to try and deep throat your beer bottle.
We did a shot for each one. Father... son... and holy ghost. That wasn't enough though so we moved on to toasting dead relatives.
I honestly didn't see the problem playing beer pong In the car on the road trip home.
She ate the cookie then went to the emergency room. Now her fam is pressing charges. Don't people understand you DON'T steal baked goods from potheads??
3pm strippers are depressing
They're making him take his shirt off cause they think he's the bouncer. We're in his backyard.
She yanked on my limp dick and I yelped, to which she slurred something about starting it like a lawn mower
Aside from having sex with a rando in a toga on george's couch i think taking plan b in the library is the most hashtag college thing i've ever done
Just paid my weed guy with a check. I've got this whole adult thing down.
I got myself off in the shower last night for the first time ever! I just looked like I was playing a game of twister.
If we're going to communicate going forward, you'll need to be versed in Gillian Anderson.
Randomize
