Just made out with a pet sitter. His biz card says "even hamsters". Lowest point in my life.
So tired and we had a cokehead in the salon today making us bleach her whole head because she thought it would let her pass her drug test for custody of her kid
Oh.My.God.
Yea...but the guy who is beating me has a ponytail. So actually, I'm the winner here.
Definitely saw about 20 people at my final that were never present before. It's like seeing who's gonna be serving me fries in 4 years.
dear roomies, would anyone wanna donate the booze they left in the fridge over break to the "your roomies snowed in and all alone" fund?
I know you didn't add your TWO random hook ups from the weekend to your FB friends AND change your status to "Good Catholic Girl" on the same day.
Don't be a smartass. I'm trying to fuck a guy who's sober. It's more difficult than you think.
Is snow just God skeeting all over the place??
Yes. Yes it is.
I started sorting laundry at 6 am. He finally got the hint and left
it doesn't matter, he's just a life support system for his dick
YOU GAVE HIM A BLOWJOB ON YOUR DOORSTEP?!
we were both freshly single and using each other as rebounds. most intense sex I've ever had. i felt like a grizzly bear emerging from hibernation in a whirlwind of sexual fury
I'm right down the road from AJ's old house and I'm getting mixed feelings. My vagina is remembering good dick. But the rest of me is remembering horrible times.
I don't know who's idea it was to get wine for a frat party but my poor pitiful hung over self really fucking hates them.
all i remember is walking home without my pants on... when i woke up i was sleeping in between my parents in their bed, no more whiskey wednesdays
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