umm..so Dad's wearing a thong, I don't know what to do
put a dollar in it?
he literaly had industrial grade plastic underneth his blankets
It was the first time I had seen his penis when it wasnt hard. It just looked so vulnerable and a little bit depressed.
I just want him to slap me with his dick and call it love
His ankle bracelet went off in the middle of sex. That makes a girl reevaluate her life...
My lower body still feels like its been through a garbage disposal and a trash compactor. In that order.
Some random at the bar just whispered in my ear that he wants to eat me out while on bath salts....
A talk about Arizona woman's rights politics has never turned to sex so quickly before.
Just tapped my penis on the head and said "this will be your year buddy."
I just need to stick to one night stands and delete social media
Being in nursing school really pays off when your dealer tries to pass off naproxen as Percocet. Like I may have made a C in pharm but I aced the pain drug test
Jesus when did you leave my house? I found 2 bottles of wine, vodka, and a book with blow all over it wondering if I was read bedtime stories
Don't come back. They don't have pants.
Oh god.
God has nothing to do with this.
Sorry about the confusion with the nudes last night that was rude
I just texted my mom from a strip club.
Randomize
