I have before 2 am pics and after 2am pics, which do you want to see first?
This is why you don't make out with cougars at a bar... I got a linkedin request from her, wtf?
i dodnt think we hooked up bcause he actually texted me the next day
Because he's your one night stand I shouldn't feel obligated to extend social media to him
Chick last night said she only gets off if she rubs her childhood blanket her parents gave her during sex
I can't leave your house without my underwear spending the night.
Dude, i don't know. I don't remember anything after we started chanting/playing "shot of gin."
Mother fucker, I knew it was bad when you tried making out with my car window
woke up in your bed at 6 AM. on my way home I passed Nathan, bloody, barefoot, and still in a toga. He told me he woke up in a ditch then kept repeating "I'm totally bringing this up at meeting tomorrow". I'm proud of your frat today
I just swallowed confetti and motor-boated some guys beard...#happy2015
Dude, you can't drink while watching Star Trek. You hardly understand it sober.
It's an alien shaped cup though. i think that'll help me absorb.
Earlier today I was eating cookie dough from a tube, now I'm laying naked next to a hot guy watching Pawn Stars in between orgasms. You really can have it all.
The irony of the fact that I'm going to be starting my period on Thanksgiving. Something to truly be thankful for.
I don't know, we got really drunk and I slapped her with an ear of corn.
He was cute in a Sketchy-trying-to-sell-you-a-vaccum-at-9-at-night kinda way.
Randomize
