Just put a picture of dead dolphins on her wall...told her the oil spill was her fault.
we woke up to him feeding us cheetos at 3am. and by feeding i mean shoving them in our mouths and saying "i mean who doesn't like cheetos"
you're going to have to hot glue me into my dress tonight. there's no way out.
I feel I should make it clear.....I'm not stalking you, I'm stalking ur dick. You don't even need to talk when you get here. At 4am I think we'd both prefer that anyway.
Sometimes I wonder if my parents know that I mean horny when I say lonely.
That's the only definition of lonely that I know.
She's popping painkillers like they're tic tacs and singing the soundtrack to dreamgirls. It's you're turn to babysit her.
It's a delicate game of how much porn can I look at without the other interns noticing.
Yeah i'd say someone being in the room while you're doing someone makes them eligible for fb friendship
I have a lot of questions this morning, most of them start with "Did I..."
I mean, he drove your car and it burst into flames, if anyone cant be trusted, it's him.
I got very very very high last night and bought a cotton candy machine on eBay
I KEEP THINKING INAPPROPRIATE SEXUAL THOUGHTS ABOUT YOU AND I AM SORRY.
It was just like the old times. We watched movies and shit. But not like old times-i fucked her hot brother when she was in the shower? Times are a'changin.
He’s going to a lawnmower race. I got a Brazilian and he’s racing a lawnmower race. Pick me up. I’m not wasting this waxing on John Deer
Do dollar stores sell vibrators?
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