i gave you head in a backbend. if that doesnt say happy birthday i dont know what does.
your drunk mistake has arrived...he is the one wearing a poncho
College freshman give noticeably better blowjobs by the 5th week of the semester.
I'm really really gonna try not to at least one night. The 4 day thanksgiving bender almost killed me last year
my head gets it he sucks but my LAME FUCKING HEART IN MY VAGINA doesnt
By "met a doctor" I really mean "fucked a pre med student"
I am the sex elephant in the room. Again.
sorry to break it to you, but he's definitely fucking that other girl now...
I wish I still at least had the bruises on my ass to remember him by.
Dude you filled up a protein shake mixer with White Russians so you didn't have to keep coming upstairs.
Stoned, drunk, and walking into the library. Look at me multitasking!
Yeah when we were together he never sent me dick pics like a normal boyfriend. It was always pizzas. That should've been my sign.
it was good, but also weird. like, i came four times and then cried weird.
Much like Dre, I was forgotten about.
I spent the morning naked in her roommates closet because her parents decided to come over after church..
Six words: 3rd Degree Burn On My Dick
Randomize
