not only are you not the girl i fell in love with, but from the looks of it, you ate her
Ahhh... Adderall running out my nose in the shower really brings back memories.
i wish i could "like" people's thoughts in real life like i can on facebook
you can....by speaking....
People are suprisingly accepting of someone doing a walk of shame in a toga...
i put his shirt in a ziplock bag to preserve his smell
please tell me you are kidding me
No kidding. I just keep looking at that 'under 21 until 11/21/2011' on my id and whispering "soon enough"
I dislocated my rib eating pizza. I think I am broken.
Got a blowie from her in the cab on the way home. Made awkward eye contact with the cabbie who said, and I quote "Keep the mess in her mouth bro", I did so only out of respect
You know you're old when tea and a hot bath are more appealing than beer pong with lesbians.
I love my life sometimes. I do miss being an adult, from time to time, but a little vodka always changes my mind.
You are one with the wind and sky, bro.
Ok. As long as I can keep Kevin contained to the room I'll be ok. If not u might have a naked puking Kevin at ur door
I officially have worse injuries from a baby shower than roller derby.
cmon you know I'm perfectly capable of something that ridiculous 100% sober
how do I say, without sounding slutty... That I can take a dick?
Randomize
