They are pre-gaming a trip to congress...not sure how politically correct the group is.
College students should never be allowed to have snow days. Never.
He compliments me like a gay guy and fucks me like a starved nympho. I'm in love.
I don't know how I got here... but I think I'm in a Christian Impact meeting... I'm trying to act as straight as possible. They can sense gay.
I guess our biggest consolation is that we haven't woken up in a hottub with a dead dude. Yet.
Whatever you do tomorrow don't let me put on the Borat mankini and yell "POLAR PLUNGE!!" while diving into the pool
The pool is covered.....
Like that would stop me.
I can measure my amount of vomit in solo cups.
My Wonder Woman lingerie has been defiled by man. I'm a horrible Amazon.
THIS IS WHY I WENT TO SCHOOL FOR TO BE A COSMETOLOGIST TO HELP MY EX BOYFRIENDS CURRENT GIRLFRIEND BE MILDLY ATTRACTIVE... Everything DOES happen for a reason
Is being in jail an excusable absence?
My move is emasculating men with my superior intellect and it's not as charming when they can't see my huge rack.
I REMEMBER NUGGETS BEING THERE BUT WE WERE AT A TACO BELL
I'm slowly getting to where I don't hate people anymore.
Never mind. Some random dude just walked past me and asked if I was having fun. I snarled at him. I might still kinda hate people.
Yeah,I'm just gonna keep fucking other guys til this idiot figures out he loves me.
He climbed over 2 rows of the cab and told some random girl we were riding with that he would be in the back seat if she wanted to have sex
Randomize
