Its not alright that i make out with a manican.
I'm currently imdbing Helena Bonham Carter to see if there are any pictures of her that don't scare the crap out of me.
Good luck with that.
I picked her up for our first date on a fucking horse. Of course I got a BJ.
Well then I realized I had a bigger problem when I woke up a long board.
I really thought you were going to tell me you were pregnant on facebook chat. FACEBOOK CHAT. I almost cried.
If I EVER think it's a good idea to blow someone who just showed me their synchronized swimming performance on youtube again please correct me immediately.
In the midst of you puking your guts out, you stopped, looked at the globe in front of you and whispered "America.."
They switched jackets and you didn't notice. You made out with both of them and had no idea
Ran out of deodorant. Febreze on a paper towel? Kicking college's ass.
I love the fact that my Mom has been present at 90% of my drug deals.
Just a suggestion, don't apricot scrub your vagina.
I feel like I could get pregnant watching Zac Efron do yard work in this movie
Basically one minute I'm sucking on her nipples and then 45 mins later we're at work and she's my boss.
HEY I WILL KIDNAP THE FUCK OUT OF YOUR PET GOAT
Have you ever realized how weird it is to think that you've fucked someone and don't know what their handwriting looks like?
Randomize
