i wanna do a homemade sex video in sepia and pretend were in the early 20th c
yes because when i jack off the first person i think about is christina applegate
Starbucks introducing alcohol. i hear angels singing.
i think i want to fuck a midget just to see how difficult it would be
The ratio was 19 to 1 and the 1 was lauren so it didn't even count.
it doesn't count as moral degradation if you win the strip off -right?
So, apparently, "i expected your penis to be bigger" isn't good pillow talk.
Some dude gave me a questioning look as I came out of the women's toilet. I just responded 'blowjob' and he understood, then shook my hand.
Come over. Drunk tacos.
That isn't even a sentence.
I kept the important parts.
my left tit made it into the crop job on your profile pic, I knew it was good for other things
So our 'date' consisted of getting drunk off champagne at four and photo-bombing the shit out of tourist's pictures all over the city. Thoughts?
I kind of want to throw a lot of things at him. Mostly blunt, heavy objects.
if i ever wake up in the morning and don't feel a boner in my asscrack then this relationship is over
I just almost caught my floor on fire, then decided I could put it out with my knuckles! So I'm doing good!
Someone put pennies in the toilet. This isn't a fucking wishing well
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