maybe we dont have boyfriends because we dont have tans
She punched me in the face after i pulled it out and grabbed my cell phone. Ill be the one hiding in the bushes with one shoe.
Emee failed...She used my genitals as a tampon
I kept grabbing at Stephanie's boobs because I thought the leopard spots on her dress were popcorn.
throwing up in the shower isnt as glamorous as i expected
since when the fuck is that glamorous?
It's probably just the physical manifestation of slut karma. But i of course mean that in the kindest way possible because i love you and respect your choices
If he really loved his girlfriend then he'd wear a condom when he fucks me.
I just woke up to three dick pics. Apparently in my blacked out state. I was asking for them as the new valentines day card.
So I paid for the taxi using pennies and hair clips, no need to thank me.
This was like angel cum on the bread of life filled with the nectar of the gods
my favorite sex position is the one where no sex actually happens we just get really stoned and eat a lot and watch netflix in the dark
Head-banging is a very stupid way to injur yourself. But this opinion is also coming from somebody who can't walk right because they cut their asshole shaving last night, so it probably has little to no merit.
We are literally scheduling phone sex... if that's not long distance af then i don't know what is
The sad moment you remember you have no power for a week and can't flush.....
Wrong number bro but that sounds like a damn shame.
They should invent shampoo and conditioner for sex hair. I would buy all the travel size ones.
Randomize
